A few days ago, I had a long conversation with a friend. Interestingly, we have never met in person – we first connected years ago in a WhatsApp group while attending a coaching workshop, and since then, we have stayed in touch. I called her recently to congratulate her because she had just achieved something big in my accordance – getting her YouTube channel monetized. Since I am also working toward the same goal, I was eager to learn from her journey. She generously shared tips and insights with me, and in the middle of that, she also mentioned that she needed my guidance to re-prepare for the International Coaching Federation exam, the one I cleared recently. That’s when she opened up about her own struggle. She told me she had already failed the exam three times. The first time she failed, she was devastated. She sank into a low-energy state for almost a month before she managed to pick herself up again. Determined, she attempted the exam again, only to face failure a second time. This time, it took her nearly two months to regain her confidence. Hoping “third time’s a charm,” she tried again – only to fail once more. I deeply respect her for sharing this with me. Talking about failure takes courage, especially with someone who had cleared the exam in the very first attempt. I equally shared all my resources and material which I had used to study which helped me clear this internationally credited exam in the first go. But at the same time I also told her my perspective. I explained that I was the same person before and after passing the exam. Nothing in my day-to-day practice changed. I was still doing the same work, coaching my clients with the same intention and passion and still following the same routines. So I asked her – what real difference will this exam make in her life, apart from the certificate and credentials? This internationally accredited exam is often portrayed as a big milestone, over rating the recognition and prestige we get out of it. But is this certificate really so life-changing? Too often, we let such titles and certifications box us in, forgetting that they are tools to guide us or teach us new things, not define us. With empathy, I could feel her struggle and genuinely relate to what she was experiencing because I had been there too. Before taking the exam, I was nervous and anxious thinking what if I do not clear on the first go? In my circle, no one had cleared it on their first attempt. Every expert I knew in my circle had taken it at least twice. But then I asked myself – Why am I really attempting this exam? The answer was simple – I wanted to finish what I had started. I wanted to complete my journey of earning this certification. And that was it.
This made me reflect on how, in today’s world, our identity is too often tangled in titles and labels. From the moment we arrive, society begins assigning names to us – daughter, son, student, single, married, divorced, employee, manager, entrepreneur or laborer. These roles are meant to help us navigate life’s journey, but over time, they start to confine us. They bring with them a set of duties and expectations that we carry, sometimes unconsciously, shaped by years of conditioning. Yet the truth remains simple and powerful – You are not the title they give you, nor the label they place upon you – you are the rhythm of what you love, the quiet fire of your passion, the gentle pull of your purpose. When you cling too tightly to titles, you risk limiting your own authenticity and personal growth. True mental freedom begins when you let go of them. Take LinkedIn for example – if you open the platform today, you will notice how people define themselves through their headers and titles. There’s nothing wrong with that, as headers do show what we actually do. In fact, one of my corporate friends recently pointed out that many professionals now avoid listing multiple titles in their headers. Instead, they describe what they actually do. I thought that was a refreshing change. Perhaps LinkedIn is slowly becoming a space where identity is defined by action and contribution, not just by a list of achievements or at what top best position you are at the organization you work. But here’s where it gets tricky – should you not use the title you have earned after years of consistent effort? Of course you should – titles can open doors and attract opportunities. The caution lies in letting them define you. If you let your title become your identity, you risk creating an image that isn’t fully who you are. Worse, you may lose focus on the very work that earned you that title in the first place. So be mindful and observe yourself – titles can be tools, not cages.
One of my acquaintances was recently promoted to Assistant Vice President of Human Resources at Jio. We first met while attending a course on Learning & Development, and I’ve always admired her commitment to continuous growth and upgrading her skills in areas that truly interest her. I congratulated her on LinkedIn and later followed up with a personal message on WhatsApp. In our conversation, she shared something that struck me. She said, “These posts and titles are nice for recognition, but they don’t really help in day-to-day work. The only real difference a promotion makes is that you get more work, more responsibility, and more people questioning you when something doesn’t happen – because now you are the one in charge. And yes, of course, there’s the added money.” Her words, though delivered with a touch of sarcasm, carried a lot of truth. I couldn’t help but smile and agree. Titles and posts define responsibilities, but they shouldn’t become a badge of pride that we carry into every part of life.
Think about how we usually introduce ourselves or how others introduce us at parties or family gatherings: “I’m a doctor.” “I’m a teacher.” “He’s a CEO.” “She holds a top position at Google – you must have heard of Google, right?” While these roles are accurate, they do not capture the full depth of our self-identity. Titles can give us opportunities, recognition and a sense of belonging, but they can also tame us: The “successful” professional who fears losing status. The “strong” individual who hides their emotions. The “leader” who forgets they are human first. When we begin serving our titles instead of living our truth, we lose touch with who we really are. It’s like playing a role in a movie and forgetting to step out of character – continuing to live as if the script never ended.Now let’s look at how titles gradually turn into labels. Labels are nothing but shortcuts, quick ways for others to place us into neat boxes. But these shortcuts come with a cost. “Introvert.” “Extrovert.” – simply because someone works as a salesperson. “Married.” “Single.” – simply because she’s had a boyfriend since college. “Successful.” “Failure.” – simply because he’s a 100k social media influencer. These words might capture one slice of our lives, but they are never the whole truth. Labels can restrict us, lock us into an image, and make it harder for us to embrace growth and change. I personally love this reminder – we are all works in progress for as long as we live. You are not a fixed definition – you are an evolving story. After all, the only post in life that ever stays fixed is death. Another gentle reminder to self – stay mindful, observe your patterns, and remember – labels will always try to keep us small. When you free yourself from titles, you open the door to authentic living and mindful growth which naturally exists within all human beings. It’s just about tapping in it and unleashing the same.
You realize that: You are not your job designation – you are the energy and value you bring into it. You are not just a relationship label – you are a unique individual with dreams and purpose. You are not bound by society’s tags – you are limitless. This is where personal transformation begins – by stepping beyond the boxes of those titles and labels. Breaking free from titles and labels is not just about dropping words – it’s about peeling away layers of identity that you might have worn for years. Are you hiding behind your titles and labels because you are afraid there’s nothing more to you without them? Think about it – how often do you introduce yourself with what you do rather than who you are? Titles and labels give comfort, a sense of belonging, even a shield against vulnerability. But they can also become cages, keeping you from discovering your true essence. If the thought of losing your designation, your marital status, or your “success” story makes you uneasy, it’s worth pausing there. What are you really afraid of – that without these tags, you might not know yourself at all? That discomfort is your invitation to dive deeper. Beyond all roles, beyond all titles, there is a you that is raw, alive, and whole. That’s where your real freedom lives – a space within that is free, peaceful, and harmonious.
If you feel stuck, still bound whether consciously or unconsciously by the chains of titles and labels, here are some daily activities that can help you loosen those ties and step courageously into the freedom of choice. 1. Ask yourself – “Who am I without this title?” Keep asking it again and again until there’s nothing left to say. It might take a day, a week, or even months before you feel that emptiness. But don’t fear this emptiness. It is not a void, it is a space filled with freedom, like a blank page. And on this page, you hold the power to write anything you wish. There is no rush. Let the page remain open, silent, and full of possibilities. 2. Redefine how you introduce yourself. Instead of starting with your profession or title, share your values, passions, or purpose. For example: “Hi, I am (Your Name), and I love to dance or read or watch movies or do social service or travel.” 3. Stay fluid. Give yourself permission to evolve. You can be a leader in one chapter of life and a learner in the next. Seek experiences where you are not the expert – places that push you beyond comfort. For example, you might be the best speaker at your organization but the least graceful dancer among your friends. Sign up for a dance workshop. Step into discomfort. Learn something new that humbles you and take the time to observe and appreciate the expertise of others in different realms of life. 4. Reclaim your essence. Remember – roles are temporary, but your essence is timeless. Give yourself permission to step away from work, family, and everything that keeps you bound, at least once a week. Go for a walk alone. Spend time with yourself. At first, you might think, “I will get bored without my work, my kids, my partner.” That’s precisely why this practice matters – learning to be fully present with yourself. Know yourself. Discover yourself. Ask yourself gently – Will I like myself if I truly meet myself?
Stop letting titles and labels tame you. They are not the measure of your worth. They are not the limits of your identity. You are not a résumé. You are not a label. You are an infinite being – capable of love, growth, and limitless possibility. So, the next time someone asks, “Who are you?” – don’t reduce yourself with a title or label. Smile knowingly, and speak silently to your heart: I am more than names. I am free. I am infinite.
