Have you had a chance to read my debut book “Pause and Reflect – The First Volume of Mindful Lifestyle Blueprint for the Modern World” yet? Imagine this; you are sitting by a window on a Sunday morning, a cup of warm coffee or tea in hand, the world outside rushing in its usual rhythm and you open a story that gently invites you to slow down, breathe, and look within. That’s the essence of Pause and Reflect. It’s a collection of short, 5 to 7 minute reads each one ending with a Mindful Reflection, simple yet powerful ways to go through everyday chaos with calm and clarity. But this isn’t just about my book. It’s about one particular story from it – a story that mirrors the life many of us live without even realizing it.
In Chapter 18, “This is the Rhythm of My Life,” I share the story of Rehan, a boy whose heart beats to the sound of music. You can almost see him as a teenager – strumming his tabla late into the night, lost in melodies that made him feel alive. But life, as it often does, had other plans. To meet his father’s expectations, Rehan chose to pursue engineering instead. He moved to Pittsburgh for a corporate job, trading his strings for spreadsheets, his rhythm for routine. Fifteen years later, while driving down a busy highway on his way to yet another meeting, the world suddenly closed in on him heart racing, palms sweating, breath shallow. A panic attack. At that moment, Rehan realized how far he had drifted from the music within him. That story isn’t just Rehan’s. It’s the story of countless people caught in the rat race running fast, but not sure why. And that’s why I wrote Pause and Reflect, to remind us to slow down, to listen, and to design a life that feels like our own rhythm. If you haven’t yet, I truly encourage you to get a copy. Each story is a small pause, a deep breath, and a gentle nudge back to harmony in this fast-paced world filled with endless expectations both from outside and within.
Let’s begin by understanding what Design Your Life truly means and later, we will explore why so many of us so easily get trapped in the never-ending rat race. I graduated in Architecture, so design, whether it’s about organizing space, visualizing a structure, or shaping a lifestyle product comes naturally to me. But here’s something I often wonder – When it comes to life, what does “design” mean to You? Isn’t it fascinating how each of us visualizes life design so differently? For some, it’s about freedom. For others, it’s stability, creativity, or contribution. There’s no single definition and that’s what makes it so beautiful and unique Let’s start simple. Imagine I hand you a blank sheet of paper. I ask you to write down everything you want in life. You might want to pause for a moment, your mind suddenly blank, or maybe overflowing with possibilities. To make it more easier, let’s divide that paper into three main sections: 1. Self 2. Relationships & Social Contribution 3. Career, Finance & Purpose
Begin with Self. Before you attempt to design any part of your life, pause and turn inward. Take a blank page and begin by writing down everything you truly desire for yourself: Your physical health – What do you want it to look and feel like? Visualize it clearly or find images that reflect your ideal state. Your mental wellbeing – How do you want your inner world to be? Describe it. Keep journaling until the feeling becomes clearer. Your skills – Which abilities do you wish to refine, deepen, or strengthen? Your hobbies – What activities make time disappear? What relaxes you or helps you destress effortlessly? Your aliveness – Which moments or activities make you feel deeply alive? Recall any recent experience that filled you with energy or excitement. Your joy – What sparks joy with ease? Your triggers – What drains you or ignites frustration? Think back to a recent moment that annoyed or unsettled you and look beneath the surface. Often, it’s not the person but the situation, expectation, or unmet need that triggers us. Start here. Start with honesty. Because self-awareness is the foundation of every life we consciously design. Reflect on who you are at your core: Your skills. Your values. Your passions. Your physical state. Your mental and emotional landscape. Ask yourself gently – Do you feel peaceful, happy, content, or grateful for the life you are living today? There is no simple yes or no here and there doesn’t need to be. The purpose of this reflection is to help you notice what you are genuinely grateful for in this current phase of your life. It’s about awareness, not evaluation. As you write, stay gently aware; are these desires genuinely yours, or are they shaped by the expectations of society, family, or the world around you? There is no judgment here; only awareness. Because this is where true life design begins. Not with perfection, not with performance, but with consciousness. So as you read this chapter, don’t rush ahead. Sit with yourself for a moment. Do this profound activity with me, right now, as you continue in this journey. When I first began exploring my own life design, I committed to this activity almost every day for three months. It helped me understand honestly and without noise what I, and only I, truly desired in this one life I have been given. If this resonates with you, feel free to practice the same exercise every weekend, at least until you notice something beautiful happening; your answers begin to repeat. That’s when you know you are finally touching your truth.
Once you have explored your inner world, it’s time to look outward toward the people who shape your life and the impact you create in the world around you; Relationships & Social Contributions Begin by making a list of all the relationships you are part of. Write down every significant connection personal, familial, and professional. Don’t filter or judge; simply acknowledge the web of relationships that surrounds you. Include every meaningful role you play in your life: • Mother or Father • Partner or Spouse • Daughter or Son • Grandparent • Sister or Brother • A best friend to someone • Your professional role and identity Write them all down. Each role reflects a part of who you are and how you show up in the world. Now pause for a moment and look at this list. These roles form a major part of your day-to-day experience, your emotional landscape, and your sense of belonging. They influence how you show up, how you grow, and how you contribute. Let’s take this a step further. Divide all these roles and relationships into three circles – your intimate circle, your inner circle, and the outside world. First, note down the people who belong in your intimate circle, those closest to your heart, the ones who know your truth. Next, list the people who form your inner circle relationships that are supportive, meaningful, and consistently present in your life. Finally, place everyone else in the outside world circle connections that are still part of your life but not as emotionally central. This simple mapping helps you understand the emotional geography of your relationships with clarity and compassion. The purpose of this exercise is simple; to consciously prioritize the people in your life. Remember, not all blood relationships automatically belong in your intimate circle and that is perfectly okay. When you understand who truly holds a central place in your life, you also learn where to expect support and where not to. This clarity sets you free from unnecessary disappointment. The same awareness applies to your professional relationships, many of which may naturally fall into the outside circle. When you recognize this, you stop taking professional interactions personally. The emotional load becomes lighter, your energy drains less, and you are able to focus on solutions and forward movement instead of feeling stuck in unpleasant situations. This is how relationship awareness turns into emotional freedom.
Let’s turn to the most essential pillar of life design: the work you do, the money you earn, and the meaning behind it all; Career, Finance & Purpose. Begin with the most important question: If the answer is yes, celebrate that you have already built a beautiful alignment in your life. If the answer is no, then explore with me; what would make you feel happy and fulfilled every day while using your skills to create the lifestyle you desire? Sit with this for a moment and contemplate on below questions: Do you feel energized or drained by your work? Do you look forward to your day, or does it feel like a cycle you simply endure? Does your career challenge you, inspire you, and help you grow or does it confine you? Do you feel financially secure, or is money a constant stressor? And most importantly; does what you do align with your deeper purpose? Take out a page and reflect on the following, just like you did in the Self section: •Your work: What do you currently do, and how does it make you feel—emotionally, mentally, and physically? • Your motivation: What excites you about your career? What feels heavy or misaligned? • Your skills & talents: Are they being used? Or are they waiting for a space to unfold? • Your financial wellbeing: Are you where you want to be financially? What would financial stability or abundance look like for you? Are you saving or investing at least 30% of what you earn? • Your purpose: What gives your work meaning? What contribution do you wish to make through your profession or through your time? As you write, remember; there are no right or wrong answers. You are simply observing with honesty and without judgment how your career, your finances, and your sense of purpose are shaping your life today. This awareness is the starting point for designing a future that feels aligned, fulfilling, and truly yours.
Thus designing your life begins with knowing who you are, what you value, what you desire, and how you wish to show up in the world. Through this exploration of Self, Relationships, and Career, you are not creating a perfect blueprint; you are uncovering the truth of your inner world and does it matter if it matches with what everyone else is doing? This truth is the most powerful starting point of any meaningful transformation. When you know what you want and why you want it, life stops feeling accidental. It becomes intentional, grounded, and deeply aligned with your authentic self. That is where true manifestation begins. From this place of clarity and alignment, you will notice how effortlessly life starts to flow toward you almost as if everything you desire is finding its way with ease.
Yet, even with clarity, many people slowly drift away from their truth. They slip into the rat race chasing titles, money, approval, or the illusion of security often at the cost of their own happiness. Society’s expectations, fear of judgment, fear of failure, and the constant pressure to “keep up” gradually pull them off their own path. They compromise on their desires, mute their intuition, and settle into routines that don’t nourish them simply because everyone else seems to be doing the same. What’s surprising is that this misalignment often begins at home. Parents, with the intention of ensuring safety and stability, tell you what the “right” career is or who the “right” partner should be. Their fears become your fears. Their limitations become the boundaries of your world. Over time, the inner courage in many individuals is silenced, replaced by the belief that fear is safer than freedom. And before they realize it, the only life they know is the life of the rat race.
If you are reading this, take it as your wake-up call and be grateful, because it is not too late. Your life may not reflect every scenario described in these pages, and that’s perfectly fine. What matters is that you choose to expand your comfort zone instead of accepting everything around you as unchangeable. Why settle, when you are still alive, still capable, and still here with the power to contribute your presence to this one precious life you have? Whatever you desire, it is time to move toward it. What’s truly stopping you? Forgive those who once told you what life should or shouldn’t be. By now, you know what life you want and what life you deserve. Release old limitations. Let go of the past; you have already learned what you needed from it. And now, with your arms open and your awareness awakened, take your first step toward the life you desire. Does it matter how old you are? Your circumstances may seem like a barrier but the only thing that matters is this; you are still alive. So with this renewed energy, answer one final, powerful question – What immediate action will you take to walk toward your desired life across all three realms: Self, Relationships, and Career?
